Understanding What Holds Us Back

Do you ever think about the things that keep us from living the life we want? The ones that stand between us and our goals of a happy and healthy life? For the most part, I think we’re not really into thinking about those; the reasons behind this are as different as you and I… Let’s go ahead and explore them a bit.

For most of us, any situation usually boils down to win or lose: winning seems to be the end goal in any situation and if we lose, well, better luck next time. I’m not really sure things are that simple, though. When something doesn’t quite turn out the way we wanted, we mostly tend to turn our heads away, blame it on the circumstances and move on. And this is actually something a lot of folks encourage: you know, the “don’t dwell on the negative and look forward to the next battle” attitude. Well, in my opinion, this might actually turn into a big drawback.

The lack of assessment on what we (yep, we, not anyone or anything else) did or didn’t do to cause whatever went wrong keeps us from correcting that mistake in the next situation. Doesn’t that sound simple? If we take the time to think about what we might have done better this might literally save our a$$es next time. It’s not dwelling, it’s understanding.

And understanding is the key point in this post today: knowing and understanding what holds us back is our own personal decision to make. But in order to get passed our obstacles we need to stop and think for ourselves. Are you living a life you honestly love? If not, what holds you back from the life you want? It might be fear or self-doubt or not being willing to take a risk. It’s different for all of us; we just have to know what our own personal demons are and be prepared to fight them if we really want something.

And make no mistake, fighting those demons we all have is a life-long battle for each of us. It’s not like in the movies where there’s one epic fight and it’s all roses and romance afterwards. Instead, we all have to keep facing our fears and defeating them again and again every time they stick their ugly heads out from the dark; it’s our responsibility to do it. With the help of friends, information and adaptability we can surely win: reach out for help when you need to. Just because it’s your battle doesn’t mean you can’t get some friendly advice, right?

And no matter what happens in the end we always figure out that the obstacle wasn’t something un-defeatable that life just put across our way; it was actually inside us all along: all in our heads. Remember: we are usually our own worst enemies. Ultimately, it’s a battle we lead against what’s inside of us. But it’s probably the most worthy war we can ever lead.


~ Dez




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2 thoughts on “Understanding What Holds Us Back

  1. Love this. As a life coach I have learned that most obstacles are fabricated by fear and fear is just a part of you that wants to keep you safe, but still thinks you are a newborn. One of the questions that works well for my clients is: What would your best self do?

    1. Linda, I absolutely agree! And that question entangles perfectly what we aspire to be, while helping us overcome our fears. Thanks for stopping by :)

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