People Ramblings

Today I woke up and decided that this post won’t have anything to do with how-to guides and tips and tricks on how to make our lives easier. Not because I don’t think we all need them sometimes, but I just felt like I needed to talk about something different today. And so, this post is the one I decided to dedicate to people: we’ve all got ones in our lives that fall into various categories, from drinking buddies to besties, and that’s what I’ve been thinking about lately. Here goes.

Obviously our friends comprise a big part of our lives: they’re the shoulders we cry on when we feel bad, some are there through the ups and some (fingers crossed it’s the same ones) through our downs. Our current lives and fast-paced world make it somewhat required for us to have relationships of various depth and meaning with a whole bunch of people; maybe even more than we want sometimes… Then again these relationships are so much of what feeds and nourishes the one thing that truly makes sense: our happiness. Sure, your “hi-hello” relationship with the worker from the cubicle next to yours might not really cut it but for most of us there are at least a couple contact points in our lives that we can truly say make us happy. Think about it, I’m sure you’ll smile when thinking of whoever holds that special place in your heart.

As Elliot Aronson so beautifully put it: we, people, are social animals. This is to say each of us (to some extent or another) thrives on the understanding and like-mindedness we receive from the people that are closest to us. We all have the urge to be a part of our own little “tribe”. And that’s beautiful! What we don’t normally think about as often, though, is what builds these relationships and holds them together. You know, it just seems that with some people things just magically happen: everything fits into place and somehow we manage to get along beautifully most of the every time. True, we all seem to have a special connection with some, and yes, it might seem like magic sometimes but in reality it’s just a big pile of efforts (whether we realize it or not) that holds these relationships through the years.

So, my point here is to remind you, and me, that sometimes we need to show some more appreciation for the work we all do. Cultivating the meaningful relations with others that seem to just sprout up by themselves like flowers in the spring is actually the sum of small efforts done by both sides on a long term basis. Take some time to appreciate this. Think about people, the people in your life: the ones you want to call ASAP when something wonderful has happened, so they can share your joy; the ones you feel like running to after a long, exhausting day. These people matter. And not just because sometimes they’re the only thing keeping us sane and sober, but also because they try. And then we try. And then – poof! – it all works out.

Take time to nurture the relationships that matter most to you: with friends, spouses, kids. I don’t care if you’re an introvert or an extrovert because we all need someone sometimes. Make sure you take time to talk, walk and eat ice-cream together and everything else that’s special for you. Make some effort even on the days you don’t really want to. Because in the end we are all stronger and more free when we’re together. The rest is not important.


~ Dez


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